Gm Timekeepers,

Today’s newsletter is packed with major legal shake-ups, high-speed blockchain upgrades, and some classic crypto degen action.

From the U.S. Treasury sanctioning Tornado Cash to a solo Bitcoin miner striking gold, there’s never a dull moment in Web3. Let’s dive in. 👇.

Here’s the TL;DR for you, let’s get into it. 🚀

The U.S. Treasury just hit the undo button on Tornado Cash’s sanctions.

Wait! Does this mean anonymity in crypto is making a comeback, or is this just a legal technicality? 🤔

A federal appeals court ruled that sanctioning smart contracts isn’t exactly legal, leading to over 100 Ethereum addresses being un-blacklisted 🫡 🤝

Meanwhile, Tornado Cash co-founder Roman Storm is still set to stand trial in July ⏳. So, freedom for the code 💻, but not for the coder? 🚔

While the Treasury claims it's still cracking down on crypto crime 🕵️‍♂️ (read: DPRK's hacking addiction 🎭), the TORN token pumped 40% 📈 within minutes of the news.

Traders don’t seem too concerned about “national security risks.” 🇺🇸🤷‍♂️

So, what’s your take? Is this a win for decentralization 🔗✨, or just a temporary legal loophole? 🚪💨

Ethereum maxis, take a deep breath—MegaETH just dropped a testnet so fast it might give Solana PTSD.

190,000 wallets received testnet ETH in 15 seconds.

But what makes MegaETH different from yet another “Ethereum scaling solution”?

Oh, and parallelization + JIT compilation 🚀 are coming soon. Basically, your transactions are about to move at the speed of light. ⚡✨

This isn’t just another rollup. MegaETH fully embraces Ethereum’s rollup-centric roadmap while throwing in some serious performance upgrades. 💡🔗

People aren’t just testing it—they’re calling it Ethereum’s last hope. 🛡️🌍

Real-time trading 📉📈, sentiment prediction markets 🧠📊, and instant transactions ⚡💰 are already live on testnet.

Now, onto your big Q, “wen airdrop?” 🪂

Well… hold your horses.

The MegaETH crew hit X on March 5, 2025, with a vibe check: ‘No airdrop rewards for testnet, fam.’

Yep, they’re not here to sprinkle tokens like confetti. This testnet’s all about stress-testing the tech, flexing real-time apps, and letting devs nerd out – not padding your bags with freebies.

‘Points systems? Cool for some, but not our jam,’ they said.

Translation: don’t expect a participation trophy.

But hey… you never know for sure in crypto!

You wanted a performant Ethereum? Well, here’s your chance to touch the future. 🔮✨

👉 Test MegaETH now: testnet.megaeth.com

👉 Try the faucet, experience real-time DeFi, and see why some call this “Ethereum’s final form.”

From Alpha to Omega, MegaETH is making its move.

But WTF is Omega? It means “everything”.

Good read: MegaETH vs. Monad

Coinbase isn’t just stacking sats. It’s also stacking derivatives.

The exchange is reportedly in advanced talks to acquire Deribit, the leading crypto options platform.

If this deal goes through, Coinbase won’t just be playing in the spot market; it’ll be running the casino. 💰

Deribit controls +80% of the options market. 📊 This would be the largest acquisition in the crypto space. 🚀

 Why does this matter? Well, derivatives trading is where the real action happens 👇

💥 High leverage

📈 Massive volume

⚡ Enough volatility to make TradFi traders sweat 😅💦

Coinbase has been itching to dominate this space, and Deribit is the golden ticket.✨

The only problem 👉 No deal has been finalized yet.

So, for now, this is still in the “will they, won’t they” phase. 🤷‍♂️⚖️

If this acquisition happens, Coinbase could position itself as a global derivatives powerhouse. 💪

With U.S. regulations making it nearly impossible to offer these products stateside, Deribit’s offshore presence might be Coinbase’s workaround.

Smart move or regulatory time bomb? We’ll find out.🔮

Keep your eyes peeled. If this deal closes, Coinbase just might become the king of crypto derivatives. 

If not? Well, there’s always another exchange looking to make a power move.

👉 Are you bullish on Coinbase going full degen? Or is this a regulatory headache waiting to happen?

Some lucky (or ridiculously well-prepared) Bitcoin miner just scored $266,000 🤑 by mining a block alone—no mining pool, no mega-corporation, just raw computing power. 💻

⚡ Sounds like the ultimate underdog story, right? 🤔

Well, before you quit your job to mine BTC from your basement, let’s talk realities. 🏠🛠️

This miner processed Block 888,737 – which sounds like a winning lottery ticket 🎟️ – using a DIY FutureBit Apollo machine.

🏗️ Sounds cute, but don't be fooled.

This isn't just some guy with a dusty old laptop.

Technically, "solo mining" just means not being in a mining pool.

💡 That could be one guy in his pajamas 💤…or a mini mining farm hidden in a spare room 📦💨.

The real takeaway? 🧐

Yes, you can win big solo mining. 🎉

No, it’s not easy. 🚫💀

Yes, you're competing against industrial-level mining farms. 🏭💥

No, your home electricity bill will not thank you. ⚡💸

But hey, if you feel like rolling the dice and heating your apartment for free, solo mining might just be your new hobby. 🎲🔥

Thinking about giving solo mining a shot?

🏗️ Be prepared to:

✔️ Invest in hardware 🛠️ (not just any gaming PC)

✔️ Burn through electricity ⚡💸 (your utility company will love you)

✔️ Pray for the Bitcoin gods to bless you 🙏✨ (because math + luck = $$$)

So, will you be the next lucky Bitcoin miner? Or just the next person explaining their electricity bill to their landlord? 😅

The SEC might actually be cooling off on NFTs. Yes, you read that right. 🤯 

Commissioner Hester Peirce (aka "Crypto Mom" 🧑‍🏫) hinted that the agency might soon give NFT fundraising a hall pass.

🎟️ Could this be a sign that the SEC is finally done treating JPEGs like illegal securities? 🤡

Peirce suggested that NFTs used for fundraising 💰—like Mila Kunis' Stoner Cats 🐱 or the Flyfish Club  restaurant memberships—shouldn’t automatically be classified as securities. 

💡 The logic 👉 If Proof of Work mining isn’t a security, why should a digital cartoon cat be one?

Oh, and this comes after the SEC spent years suing NFT projects for doing exactly this. The irony is chef’s kiss. 👨‍🍳💋

If the SEC follows through, NFT-based fundraising could become legal-ish 📜—or at least less of a lawsuit magnet. 

🚫Expect a wave of projects  launching “utility” NFTs  faster than you can say not financial advice. 📢

Of course, this doesn’t mean all NFTs are off the hook. 

🎣 If your NFT walks, talks, and quacks like a security 🦆, Peirce says, “Yeah, that’s still a security.” ✅ Fair enough.

Will this be the lifeline ⛑️ the NFT market needs? Or just another false start 🏁 before the SEC flips back to lawsuit mode? 

👀Expect some serious NFT fundraising FOMO—because if there's one thing crypto loves, it's a regulatory loophole. 🔄💎

👉  Time to bring back your NFT startup dreams? 

🚀 Or are we just waiting for the SEC to change its mind again? 🎢

…. And time!

That’s all for today’s crypto chaos!

🚀 From Tornado Cash’s partial comeback to MegaETH’s speedrun and Coinbase’s potential power move, the space never slows down. 

⚡ Whether it’s solo mining dreams or NFT loopholes, the game keeps evolving. 

Stay sharp and see you tomorrow! 👀🔥

– Your daily chronographer 🔂