Gm Timekeepers! ⏳🫡
Welcome to today’s ride in the cryptosphere! From Wintermute nuking ACT into oblivion to a hacker getting rugged by their own scam, the chaos never stops. 🚀💀
Meanwhile, GameStop is making power moves with a $1.5B BTC stack, VanEck is eyeing a BNB ETF, and Coinbase just took a nosedive. Buckle up—it’s gonna be a bumpy one. 🎢
Here’s a fast-forward of all the scoop ⤵️
1️⃣ Wintermute allegedly dumped their entire ACT bag in one go, sending it down 60%. Is Binance involved?
2️⃣ The ZKLend exploiter "accidentally" lost $5.5M to a phishing site.
3️⃣ GameStop raised $1.5B and is stacking BTC like Saylor. Stock barely moved.
4️⃣ VanEck’s BNB ETF filed in Delaware, but is it legit?
5️⃣ Coinbase Crashes 30%! Worst quarter since FTX collapse.
🎭 ACT Gets Nuked: Wintermute at the Wheel?
ACT just got sent to the shadow realm. It’s down 60% in a single candle.
Who’s behind the carnage?
On-chain data screams Wintermute, one of the biggest market makers in crypto.
And they didn’t just exit… they nuked their entire bag in one go. 💥
Mass liquidation or some 4D chess play?
Either they’re quietly longing somewhere else, or they just gave up on trying to OTC (Over-the-Counter) their holdings and decided to market dump it all. 🤷♂️
🔍 Suspicious timing? You bet!
The same whale dumped everything at once, right when liquidity was weakest — basically ensuring a total price collapse.
The cherry on top ▶️ Binance is allegedly in on it too, using Wintermute as their weapon of choice. 🕵️♂️
🎭 Crime season is officially open, and they’re not even trying to hide it.
Whether this was coordinated or just reckless liquidation, the result is the same: ACT holders got obliterated.
🧠 Smart trader notes
Use tools like Arkham, Scanners XYZ, or Nansen to track Wintermute’s flows post-dump.
Watch for re-accumulation: if the same wallets are scooping after nuking, it’s a setup.
Liquidity thin zones = easy slippage = big impact. Don’t be exit liquidity—front-run the front-runners.
📊 Alpha setup
If ACT has decent fundamentals, set alerts near previous support levels or watch for insider wallet inflows.
Look for bounce plays if sentiment flips from panic to opportunity.
💀 Hacker Gets Hacked: ZKLend Exploiter "Loses" $5.5M to Phishing Site
😂 You can’t make this up!
The hacker who looted 2,930 ETH (~$5.5M) from ZKLend claims they got scammed themselves… sending all the stolen funds to a fake Tornado Cash site.
Yes, a hacker got hacked. Irony at its finest. 🤌
But investigators aren’t buying it.
They suspect the hacker faked the whole thing to launder funds while pretending to be an unfortunate victim. 🤡
🚩 Key red flags
No proof of the "phishing site" taking the funds.
The ETH was sent through safe-relayer.eth, an address linked to previous scams.
The hacker used a vanity address, suggesting premeditation.
Tornado Cash itself has warned about spoof sites, making it unlikely that an experienced hacker would fall for one.
💥 So what really happened?
The most likely scenario 👉 The hacker used their own fake Tornado Cash site to “lose” the funds, effectively laundering their loot while trying to make it look like an accident. 🕵️♂️
Did the hacker just give us the ultimate crypto laundering playbook 👨💻?
Set up fake mixer site.
“Accidentally” send stolen funds there.
Re-route through bridges, relayers, or CEXs with old KYC.
Cry on chain.
🔍 Tools to track this
Chainalysis Reactor or MistTrack (if you have access).
DeBank or Etherscan social tracking for wallet behavior pre/post transfer.
💡 Takeaway for DeFi protocols: Improve exploit contingency plans. Redirect stolen funds? Tag them at the protocol level. Even Aave does it.
🎮 GameStop’s Next Power-Up: $1.5B Raise to Stack Bitcoin
GameStop just hit the “Buy BTC” button after raising a cool $1.5 billion via convertible debt.
Yep, the OG meme stock is now playing Michael Saylor’s game, adding Bitcoin and stablecoins to its balance sheet. 🚀
The original goal was $1.3B. But investors YOLO’d an extra $200M into the pot, because why not?
GameStop confirmed the big BTC buy in an SEC filing on April 1 (not a prank, we swear).
Stock market reaction was ‘Meh’ 🤷 After the debt raise, GME barely budged (+1.34% to $22.61).
The real action was back on March 26, when the Bitcoin announcement sent shares flying 12%. Only to crash 24% the next day.
Apparently, Wall Street still thinks this is a video game retailer, not a crypto hedge fund. 😂
Convertible notes? Fancy way of saying, “We took on debt that can turn into stock later.”
These mature in 2030 unless someone rage-quits early. Oh, and every $1,000 of debt gives investors 33 GME shares. (Do the math, apes.)
From meme stock to crypto player? GameStop’s already dipped its toes into Web3. Remember that NFT marketplace and crypto wallet? (RIP, shut down in 2023 🪦)
But now, they’re stacking BTC for the long haul, just like Saylor.
👀 Will this be GameStop’s cheat code to victory or just another side quest before the final boss?
Only time will tell. 🙌
🤔 VanEck Eyes First BNB ETF in the US! But Is It the Real Deal?
Another day, another ETF! Fund manager VanEck just registered a BNB ETF in Delaware, potentially making it the first BNB exchange-traded fund in the U.S. 🇺🇸
According to Delaware’s official portal, the "VanEck BNB ETF" entity became effective on March 31 – a crucial step before any formal SEC filing.
💡 Sounds bullish? Maybe.
If approved, this ETF would track BNB, the fourth-largest non-stablecoin cryptocurrency by market cap.
But hold up… we’ve seen fake filings before. Remember the bogus "iShares XRP Trust" filing in November 2023?
The Block has reached out to VanEck for confirmation because, in crypto, trust issues are real.
📉 Meanwhile, BNB has dipped 1.51% in the last 24 hours, currently trading around $599.78. Not exactly the ETF hype rally some might’ve expected.
🔮 But here’s the real question: What even is decentralization anymore if every day we’re just getting another Wall Street ETF?
🤷♂️ First Bitcoin, then Ethereum, now Solana, Avalanche, and maybe BNB? At this rate, we might as well call crypto TradFi 2.0.
What happened to “not your keys, not your coins”? 🧐
📉 Coinbase Takes a 30% Dive! Recession Fears or Just Another Day in Crypto?
🚨 Oof. Coinbase shares just nosedived 30% this quarter, marking their worst performance since the FTX disaster in 2022.
😬 But is this just a Coinbase thing, or is the entire economy crumbling?
📉 Spoiler Alert! It’s not just Coinbase.
The S&P 500 is heading for its worst quarter since mid-2022, and investors are running from riskier assets like crypto faster than a degen realizing they bought the top.
Recession fears, trade tensions, and economic uncertainty are all adding fuel to the fire. 🔥
Oppenheimer analyst Owen Lau says crypto stocks are naturally more volatile than Bitcoin, meaning they’re basically playing financial whack-a-mole.
🤡 Every time the market sneezes, these stocks catch the flu.
But here’s the real kicker: Wasn’t crypto supposed to be a hedge against this kind of TradFi nonsense?
Instead, every time the economy stumbles, crypto stocks trip over themselves even harder. So much for uncorrelated assets, huh? 🙃
🧠 Key insight
COIN = proxy for crypto sentiment in TradFi. If it tanks, it often front-runs altcoin pain.
So, while COIN may seem detached from your bags, it’s actually a sentiment barometer.
… And that’s a wrap for today’s 13th Hour 🕛!
Another day, another wave of liquidations, ETF filings, and unexpected plot twists. Whether you’re bag-holding, trading, or just enjoying the chaos,
Remember—nobody’s safe in these markets. Stay sharp, stay liquid, and we’ll catch you tomorrow. ⏳
– Your daily chronographer 🔁
