Gm Timekeepers,

We are hearing predictions and those predictions getting cancelled by same people – the crypto market is a complete chaos right now

No one knows much and are merely speculating. But one piece of news is constant – that Ethereum is going down bad.

We have some other exciting news as well today, here’s a TLDR ⤵️

1️⃣ Bank cuts ETH target from $10K to $4K, blaming protocol upgrades and Layer 2s. 😬📉

2️⃣ MicroStrategy adds 130 BTC, inching closer to 500K BTC while analysts spot a bullish pattern. 💰🚀

3️⃣ A new EVM chain aiming to bridge TradFi and DeFi, but reactions are mixed. 🌉🔗

4️⃣ Another altcoin ETF enters the race, signaling growing institutional interest. 🏦📊

5️⃣ James Howells’ bid to recover 8,000 lost BTC gets denied—again. 🗑️💸

Remember when Standard Chartered boldly predicted Ethereum (ETH) would hit $10,000 by 2025? 

Well, they just slashed that target to $4,000. A casual 60% haircut. Oops.

The culprit? Apparently, Ethereum’s own protocol upgrades (The Merge, Dencun), which were supposed to be game-changers but are now being blamed for dragging ETH down.

Layer 2s are eating Ethereum’s lunch. 🍽️

L2s like Base are stealing transactions and revenue away from ETH’s main network, making Ethereum less valuable in the eyes of big banks.

Now, the big question: is this a disaster or a golden opportunity?

Ethereum’s got options, but none of them are easy ⤵️

🔹 Tax L2s? — Highly unlikely. Would make Vitalik cry. 😭

🔹 New incentives for validators? — Maybe, but would take time. ⏳

🔹 Make Ethereum more attractive than L2s? — Easier said than done.

Even after this doom-and-gloom downgrade, Standard Chartered still thinks ETH will recover – just not as fast as Bitcoin. 🚀

Right now, ETH is bleeding dominance to its own ecosystem. Will it bounce back?

If anything, this poor prediction is another case of “don’t trust banks blindly.” 🫣

So, what’s your move? Panic? Laugh? Load up on ETH while the skeptics sulk?

Michael Saylor just did it again. MicroStrategy snagged another 130 Bitcoin for $10.7M, pushing its total holdings to 499,226 BTC—because, clearly, owning half a million Bitcoin just isn’t enough.

With plans to potentially raise $21 BILLION for even more Bitcoin.

It seems like Saylor’s strategy is simple: Buy. More. Always.

Meanwhile, the market watches, wondering if he’s actually the real Bitcoin Standard.

Technical analysts are buzzing about MicroStrategy’s “double bottom” pattern – basically the bullish mirror image of Bitcoin’s recent double top. 

If the chart nerds are right, MSTR could shoot up to $410 soon.

Translation: More Bitcoin, more money, more flex.

Another Day, Another Chain.

Just when you thought the blockchain space was crowded enough, Ethena Labs and Securitize said, "Hold our stablecoins."

Meet Converge, the latest EVM blockchain, allegedly optimized for both retail DeFi degen apes and institutional TradFi boomers—because why should anyone be left out of the fun?

Converge promises to be the go-to settlement layer for stablecoins and tokenized assets, bridging TradFi and DeFi in a way that doesn’t make regulators cry.

It’s whitelisted for compliance, but don’t worry—it’s totally permissionless too. Wait, what?

ENA staking, USDe & USDtb gas fees, a validator set filled.

Pendle, Aave Labs’ Horizon, Morpho, Maple Finance, and even custody heavyweights like Anchorage and Copper are backing this. 

That $50B+ game-changer hype is already flying around. Even ENA pumped 5% on the news

Bet Big or Watch from the Sidelines?

Crypto Twitter is split between "LFG, institutions are coming!" and "Bearish for Ethereum, RIP DeFi." 

Will Converge be the DeFi Wall Street has been waiting for, or just another overhyped chain destined for ghost-town status?

Either way, one thing’s for sure: The blockchain casino just added a new VIP lounge. 🚀

Attention, Wall Street: Meet Sui, Your Newest Plaything

Canary Capital just dropped an S-1 filing with the SEC for a spot SUI ETF, because why not?

If Bitcoin, Ethereum, and probably Dogecoin can have ETFs, Sui might as well join the party. 🤷

And let’s be real… Canary Capital isn’t just throwing filings into the void:

✅ They’ve already filed for DOGE, SOL, and XRP ETFs.

✅ They’re betting big on regulatory clarity under Trump 2.0.

✅ Their founder, Steven McClurg, thinks ETFs will be greenlit this year.

Crypto Twitter is buzzing, investors are cautiously optimistic, and somewhere in a boardroom, a hedge fund manager is pretending he knew what Sui was before today. 

Meanwhile, the SEC is probably debating whether to delay this approval just for fun.

If approved, this ETF could mean big things for Sui—like more liquidity, legitimacy, and maybe even a brief moment in the mainstream spotlight.

ETFs are Boomers’ favorite way to ape in. The last generation that could afford housing can now get into crypto. 🙃

Imagine throwing out $660 million by mistake. Wait, it gets worse.

Now imagine asking for permission to dig it back up – and being told “Nah, mate.”

That’s the saga of James Howells, the legendary UK Bitcoin Landfill Guy, who just had his latest appeal rejected by the UK Court of Appeals.

Howells lost 8,000 BTC back in 2013 after mistakenly tossing his hard drive into a landfill. Ever since, he’s been on a one-man mission to reclaim his digital fortune. 

He’s tried everything – legal appeals, a $495 million lawsuit against Newport City Council, and even plotting to buy the landfill itself (because if you can’t search it, why not just own it?

But the UK courts? Still not interested.

In his latest move, Howells is taking the fight all the way to the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR), claiming the UK is denying him his Right to Property and a Fair Trial.

If he ever gets that hard drive back, this will be one of the greatest comeback stories in crypto history. 

And if not? Well, it’s already a legendary cautionary tale – always double-check your trash.

What’s next? A Netflix documentary? A Hollywood blockbuster? Maybe even a DAO to fund his next legal battle?

Until then, the Bitcoin treasure remains buried, and Howells remains the most determined (or luckless) crypto investor on the planet. 🔥

🎭 The crypto circus never sleeps! What’s your move?

From Ethereum’s uphill battle to Bitcoin’s unwavering believers, from new blockchains entering the arena to Wall Street’s growing appetite for crypto – this space is never short on surprises. Some see chaos; others see opportunity.

Markets rise, narratives shift, and fortunes are made (or lost in landfills). The question is: where do you stand? Are you betting on ETH’s comeback, stacking sats like Saylor, or keeping an eye on the next big play?

Stay sharp, stay curious, and as always, DYOR. 🚀

See you tomorrow 🫡

– Your head chronographer ⏲️