Gm Timekeepers,
Trump Tariffs are taking the market by storm, but Bitcoin’s flexing like it wants $100K, memecoins are memeing their way back into relevance, and Pump.fun livestreams are back from hell—slightly more filtered this time.
Meanwhile, DeFi is bleeding revenue, and somehow, a jailed ex-CEO just got a multi-million dollar bonus.
Let’s dive in. 🏊♂️📉🚀
1️⃣ BTC bounced back amid macro drama as gold and stocks dipped. Traders see echoes of 2019. Decoupling? Maybe. Bull trap? Also maybe. 📈
2️⃣ $FARTCOIN, $KEYCAT, and $MONKY are flying. Retail degens are back with a vengeance. Social sentiment = 🚀
3️⃣ Livestreaming is back for 5% of users—with some rules. NSFW is fine-ish, crime not so much. 😬
4️⃣ Protocols saw up to 75% drops in revenue. Onchain activity is down bad. MakerDAO (now Sky) is the only green candle. 📉
5️⃣ Jailed for bribery, still bags $3.5M bonus. Welcome to crypto’s version of “Succession.” 🎬
🚀 Bitcoin to $100K? Traders Think So — If Gold Hands It the Baton 🏁
Ready for another wild BTC ride?
Traders are watching closely as Bitcoin flirts with a massive rally toward $100K, all thanks to some spicy macro drama and a potential decoupling from gold and stocks.
Stock market losses hit $3.5 trillion
Let’s break it down:
Trump just reignited global tariff drama, but while stocks nosedived and gold slipped, Bitcoin said, “Not today, Satan,” and rebounded 💅
BTC dropped to ~$82.5K but snapped back to $84.7K
S&P 500? Tanked over 10% this week
Gold? Hit $3,167 then fell 4.8%
This divergence is giving major déjà vu from 2019 when gold rallied first, and Bitcoin followed with a 344% surge.
Traders are now calling it:
“Gold leads, Bitcoin follows” 🚀
“Reclaiming $100K = Gold Passing the Torch”💬
Analysts like MacroScope and Mike Alfred say that if BTC keeps this up, we might witness a torch handoff from gold to Bitcoin, triggering BTC to outperform everything – again.
But hold your horses... 🐴
Some charts are whispering ominously:
The BTC/Gold ratio is repeating its 2021 pattern 📉
Back then, this led to a major drop toward $20K 😱
Currently, BTC is hovering around the 50-2W EMA (Exponential Moving Average). If it breaks down, next stop could be $65K or lower.
Let’s just say... “It’s giving bear trap energy.” 🐻
Trump’s tariff tantrum could trigger a U.S. recession, and recessions aren't exactly known for sending Bitcoin to the moon.
Risk assets dip when economies shrink 📉
Powell says, “No rate cuts yet, inflation’s still vibing.”
Bond traders? Still betting on 3 cuts by September 🤞
So yeah, BTC is stuck in the middle—between bullish dreams and macro nightmares. 😵💫
📈 Are Memes Back? Few are leading the charge!
The meme category has shown strong momentum in the past 24 hours, recording an 11% increase in social engagement (echo) and a 10.24% rise in total market capitalization.
Topping the list of market cap gainers were:
$FARTCOIN +24%
$KEYCAT +17.42%
$MONKY +6.624%
This surge indicates renewed retail interest and speculative activity in the memecoin sector, with social sentiment playing a key role in driving momentum.
🎥 Pump.fun Livestreams Are Back (Well, for 5% of You Anyway 🙃)
Remember when Pump.fun livestreams got too wild even for crypto standards?
We're talking about child abuse, bestiality, and other absolutely heinous stunts to pump token prices. Yeah… that happened. 🚫👎
Well, the Solana-based memecoin launchpad is tiptoeing back into the chaos—livestreaming is now available to 5% of users, with a brand-new rulebook in place.
Think! No violence, harassment, sexual content, or endangering kids. 🚷
But wait, it’s not all squeaky clean. NSFW content? Still allowed—kind of. Pump.fun isn’t drawing hard lines, just soft vibes.
As they put it, they won’t "universally define what content is ‘appropriate’ or ‘inappropriate.’" Translation: 🤷♀️
They’ll decide if your stream is too spicy when they feel like it. But if the rules aren’t clear isn’t that autonomy?
So if you’re one of the lucky 5% and feeling creative (but not too creative), go ahead and fire up that livestream.
But remember: break the rules, and you’re out. 🚪✌️
Pump.fun says it wants to foster “meaningful engagement” and “freedom of expression” — without, you know, literal crimes this time.
What a concept. 💡💻
📉 DeFi Revenues Nosedive in March as Onchain Activity Slows
The DeFi party hit a major speed bump in March. Revenues across most major DeFi protocols plunged over 50%, signaling a slowdown in onchain activity and overall market fatigue. Yikes. 😬
Across Ethereum, Solana, and BNB Chain, things looked bleak:
Solana protocols (Pump.fun, Jito, Raydium): $42M revenue, down 55% MoM and 75% from January highs.
BNB Chain’s PancakeSwap: $21M in March, down 54%.
Ethereum giants (Lido, Aave, Curve, Sushi, etc.): $24.5M, down 52% MoM, and 65% from January.
The entire sector’s momentum is stalling, and it shows. 👀📉
Need a silver lining? Enter: MakerDAO (now rebranded as Sky)—the only major protocol to show revenue growth, pulling in $10M, an 11% increase from February. 🌤️📈
(Who knew the “old guard” still had moves left?)
With GMCI’s GMDEFI Index down 40% YTD, investors, users, and builders may want to:
Reassess active positions in DeFi tokens.
Monitor upcoming changes in protocol incentives and fee models.
Keep an eye on MakerDAO/Sky for signs of resilience amid a sector-wide cooldown.
Until broader on-chain activity picks back up, DeFi might be in for a quieter season. But as we know, quiet in crypto never lasts long. 🕵️♀️⏳
💸 Ex-Bithumb CEO Jailed for Bribery — Still Gets $3.5M Bonus
In a twist straight out of a crypto drama series, ex-Bithumb CEO Lee Sang-jun—currently serving a prison sentence for bribery—just got paid $3.5 million in bonuses and salary. Yep, you read that right. 🫠
Lee was convicted in December 2024 for accepting luxury gifts tied to token listings.
While the court dropped cash-related charges, it still upheld other bribery verdicts. His final punishment?
2 years in prison
50M Won fine (~$37K)
4.7B won (~$3.5M) compensation in 2024
Meanwhile, Bithumb defended the payout, crediting Lee for "professionalizing operations" and “protecting customer assets.” 💼🤨
If you're wondering how? and why? you're not alone. But there's more:
Lee Jung-hoon, another former exec, got $740K in bonuses after his fraud acquittal.
Rival exchange Upbit’s chairman earned a jaw-dropping $82 million in 2024.
Crypto exchange staff in Korea are now earning banker-level salaries, with Upbit staff averaging $147K/year.
These headlines raise serious questions about executive accountability in crypto, especially in the post-FTX era.
Regulators and investors may want to take a closer look at how bonuses are awarded—even behind bars.
…And Time
That’s all for today’s 13th Hour 🕛—
As Bitcoin teases $100K and memecoins throw a party, the rest of the market’s feeling the recession jitters and revenue hangovers.
Whether you’re betting on a bull breakout or bracing for a macro smackdown, stay nimble.
Because in crypto, the only thing more volatile than price is the plot. ⏳
⚔️ See you tomorrow
- Your daily chornographer 🔁
