Gm Timekeepers, 

Ever seen a car crash in slow motion? You know it’s bad, you know it’s coming, but you just can’t look away. That was Solana’s latest ad. 😬

Meanwhile, a whale pulled off a market move so precise it felt scripted, Raydium and pump.fun are in a liquidity knife fight, and the U.S. just signaled it’s stacking Bitcoin like it’s the new gold.

Here’s a TL;DR for what happened in the last 24 hour 👇

1️⃣ Solana’s latest ad tried to be bold but ended up uniting the crypto community—against them. 🤦‍♂️

2️⃣ A whale’s high-stakes short paid off, proving that timing the market sometimes beats the market timing you. 💰🎯

3️⃣ Raydium isn’t letting pump.fun steal the spotlight, but in Solana’s memecoin wars, liquidity is king. 🪙🔥

4️⃣ The U.S. is moving to regulate stablecoins and stockpile Bitcoin—without spending taxpayer money. 🟠

5️⃣ Justin Sun’s $114M ETH stake has traders guessing—is it smart strategy or just another power play? 💎🦄

Solana just dropped an ad so bad it united the crypto community—against them.

The now-deleted “America is Back—Time to Accelerate” ad featured a bizarre therapy scene where a man with "rational thinking syndrome" declares…

💬 "I want to invent technologies, not gender."

Cue the collective cringe. 🤦‍♂️

The backlash was swift, with critics calling it "offensive," "cringe," and "who approved this?" 🚩

Crypto heavyweights piled on:

💥 Tyler Bench: "Like a Coinbase ad, but made by an incel."

💥 Anneri van der Merwe: "Pandering and tone-deaf."

💥 Adam Cochran: "The real ‘mind virus’ is whatever’s happening in Silicon Valley."

Even Solana’s co-founder distanced himself, hinting that their last bad ad was somehow better. Ouch. 🤷‍♂️

Solana deleted the ad, hoping everyone forgets. (Spoiler: We won’t.) 👀

Was it a marketing blunder or calculated outrage bait? 🤔

Whatever it was, cryptopunk ideology is all about inclusivity ✊ – it’s about what people can do, not who they are.

A Bitcoin whale just pulled off a bold 40x leveraged short, closing a $516 million position and walking away with $9.4 million in profit.

The massive short bet, placed at $84,043 per BTC, faced liquidation if Bitcoin hit $85,592. 😱

A group of traders even tried to "hunt" the liquidation, but the whale outplayed them, securing a hefty win just before a key Fed meeting. 🎯

The whale pocket profits and began moving them into Ethereum. ~3,200 ETH worth $6.1 million has already been scooped up! 🦈

Was this a masterclass in market timing, or just lucky leverage? 🍀

What you gotta do? Watch closely! Bitcoin’s next big test is around the corner. 👀

Raydium isn’t backing down. The Solana DEX is launching LaunchLab, a direct competitor to Pump.fun’s token launchpad.

This came just weeks after pump.fun announced plans for its own AMM. 🏗️

LaunchLab will feature:

📈 Linear, exponential, and logarithmic bonding curves

💰 Flexible fees for third-party UIs

💱 Support for multiple quote tokens beyond SOL

Pump.fun’s tokens have driven 41% of Raydium’s swap fee revenue, but that stream is at risk as pump.fun migrates liquidity to its own AMM. ⚠️

With Raydium’s token crashing 25% in February 📉 and a $168 million war chest to deploy 💰, the DEX is moving fast.

🚀 Core contributor Infra says LaunchLab isn’t aiming to replace Pump.fun. Rather it provides an alternative for teams that want Raydium’s AMM v4 for pool migrations.

Will this be a game-changer for Raydium or just a desperate countermove? 🤷‍♂️

Solana’s memecoin wars are heating up, and the battle for liquidity is just getting started. 🔥⚡

(Although price movements and memecoin crazes aren’t looking too good right now... 😬📉)

The Trump administration just dropped a major digital asset bombshell—stablecoin legislation is on the way, and the U.S. is gearing up to stockpile Bitcoin. 💥

Speaking at the Digital Asset Summit 2025 🎤, Bo Hines, Executive Director of the Presidential Working Group on Digital Assets, confirmed that stablecoin legislation could hit Congress within two months. 🏛️

Meanwhile, the administration is doubling down on Bitcoin, viewing it as a strategic reserve asset—much like gold. 🏆🟠

🇺🇸 The U.S. wants to acquire Bitcoin in budget-neutral ways 🏦 ensuring it doesn’t cost taxpayers a dime.

Hines emphasized that the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve (SBR) fulfills Trump’s promise of expanding America’s reserves rather than depleting them. 🏗️

Will this move cement Bitcoin’s role as a global reserve asset? 🌎🔗

With stablecoin regulations and national Bitcoin accumulation on the horizon, the U.S. is making its crypto stance clearer than ever. 📢

Justin Sun just threw $114 million worth of ETH into Lido. 💸

Naturally, the trench dwellers are wondering: What’s the play here? 🤔

Tron’s mastermind now earns 1,740 ETH in annual yield while holding 60K stETH (the liquid staking token that he can trade or stake for even more gains). 🔄💎

🕵️‍♂️ Arkham spotted the move, confirming that Sun’s on-chain portfolio is now worth $1 billion (mostly in TRX and stETH).

But why now? 🧐

ETH has been underwhelming all year 📉, yet Sun keeps stacking. 🏗️

Some say he’s timed the market perfectly ⏳, others think he’s just flexing his deep pockets. 💪💰

His bet has Ethereum bulls feeling optimistic again. 🟢🚀

Will this massive stake pay off, or is Sun just spinning the staking wheel for fun? 🎡

If you believe in Sun, then begin stacking ETH. NFA. You never know what goes on in the minds of these billionaires!

….and time!

Looks like Solana’s marketing team needs a therapy session of their own, while Raydium and pump.fun are busy playing "Who Can Steal More Liquidity?" 🤡💸

Meanwhile, a whale just schooled traders on market timing, Trump wants America to "stack sats" 🇺🇸🟠

What’s your move? Buying, shorting, or just enjoying the chaos? 🚀🔥

– Your daily chronographer 🔁