The 13th Hour Video Version

Gm Timekeepers! ⏳💥

Welcome back to The 13th Hour – your go-to spot for everything memecoins, trading drama, and all the price action you can handle. 🚀

It’s been one hell of a 24 hours in cryptoland. Buckle up, grab your popcorn 🍿, and let’s dive into the chaos because in crypto, if you blink, you miss it.

President Trump signed off on nuking a Biden-era IRS rule that had DeFi on life support.

Yeah, the same rule that was basically telling protocols, “KYC every wallet or GTFO of the U.S.” 🧾🔫

This was a Biden-era last-minute bomb, where the IRS declared DeFi protocols = brokers, meaning “yes sir, we’ll track and report our users” — which, as you know, is literally impossible without killing the entire point of decentralization.

But now the Trump signed the Congressional Review Act resolution. 

Meaning not only is the rule gone, the IRS is legally barred from pulling this move again.

That’s Congress saying “we see you, crypto — and we got your back.”

This move could pave the way for:

Crypto just beat the IRS.

Now, DeFi devs can build again without fearing the taxman’s knock.

So go ahead. Mint that LP token. Stake that yield farm. Deploy that new protocol.

The regulators blinked — and crypto held the line.

Hold onto your wallets, folks — Bitcoin just threw a tantrum… and then flexed.

All because Trump dropped a “90-day tariff pause” bomb (👀 except for China — they still get the full tariff spice 🌶️).

Cue: panic ➡️ disbelief ➡️ FOMO. Classic crypto.

What started as CPI-induced whiplash quickly morphed into a double-bottom breakout — the kind that makes traders scream, “SEND IT.”

We’re talking bullish patterns, high volume, and laser-eyed hopium.

📍 Resistance? $83,500–$85,000.

📍 Support? $80,000–$81,000.

Break through? Hello $88K.

Hold strong? Why not $100K, right?

But... can’t close above $83,856.29? Uh oh, cue doom bears whispering “$70K soon.” 😈

This volatility wasn’t just for BTC:

Everyone’s suddenly bullish again, but you know how this works — one red hourly candle, and it’s “recession confirmed” all over CT.

Still, the vibes are immaculate if BTC holds that $80K line like a champ.

📉 CPI FUD? Over.

📈 Trump’s tariff tease? Injected.

📊 BTC TA? Basically hopium with candles.

Because this market is one Trump tweet away from sending us straight to Valhalla or the void.

Bitcoin maxis are already celebrating the incoming recession like it’s the next halving party 🎉. 

But ‘hold the hopium,’ says 10x Research’s Markus Thielen, who just poured cold brew on that dream, warning: "Not so bullish just yet, kids." 🥶📉

Thielen points to widening credit spreads, which a classic red flag the economy might be coughing up more than just inflation data. 

While a recession might eventually lead to Fed rate cuts (which crypto loves 💸), history shows Bitcoin usually catches a cold before it gets a lambo ride 🚗💨.

Oh, and about that first rate cut? It’s usually just a panic button… not a pump trigger. 😬

Yes, BlackRock still believes BTC could thrive in a full-blown recession. But we’re not there yet. We're in the “confused and scared” phase 😵‍💫.

Now, before you mortgage your house to go all-in on Bitcoin thinking it’s recession-proof, maybe chill. 🤷‍♀️

Thielen's message: The long-term setup might be great, but short-term pain is still very much on the table. So maybe don’t start your bull party just yet. 

Or at least wait until the Fed RSVP’s with actual rate cuts 🎟️💔.

Spoiler: The dump comes before the pump.

Bitcoin Pepe just raised $6.3 million in its presale—yes, during a market slump—while BTC is out here doing its best boomer impersonation 🧓📉. 

This meme-fueled Layer 2 aims to turn Bitcoin from a sleepy store of value into a high-speed meme casino. Welcome to the Solana-fication of Bitcoin 🧃💥.

Remember how ERC-20s fueled Ethereum’s DeFi Summer and Solana’s SPOL standard sent meme coins into orbit in 2024? 

Well, Bitcoin was chilling in the corner like, “nah, I’m good.” 

That is… until now. Bitcoin Pepe’s PEP-20 standard finally gives Bitcoin a shot at joining the token party 🎉. 

Think: DEX, new token standard, bridge, and meme coin madness—on Bitcoin.

The presale’s flying—priced at $0.0295, with 50% of the 2.1B supply up for grabs. And with 5% price bumps each round, early buyers might just be the next meme millionaires 🤑.

BPEP is a full-stack bet on meme coin infrastructure being the next big thing.

So while Wall Street cries about tariffs and traditional markets spiral, crypto’s cooking up "Solana on Bitcoin"… with memes.

A 23-year-old crypto enthusiast, Arnold Haro (aka @mistafuccyou) put his last $500 into a memecoin called $Ye. 

Days later, he shocked his followers by livestreaming a game of Russian roulette that ended in tragedy. 😨

What started as a desperate bet on a joke crypto ended with a viral suicide watched by thousands online. In his final moments, Haro told viewers:

“If I f**king die, make it a memecoin.” And they did. $Mistacoin was born just minutes later—rocketing to a $2M market cap. 🚀💀

Behind the memes and market mania was a young father battling depression, financial ruin, and drug threats. 

His story pulls back the curtain on the dark underbelly of memecoin gambling—where viral hype and life savings collide in seconds. 🧨

….And Time

That’s a wrap on today’s 13th Hour 🕛

From Congress saving DeFi to meme L2s mooning while BTC snoozes, it’s clear: Crypto’s not just surviving—it’s mutating.

We’re in uncharted waters, where regulation wins collide with existential risks and dopamine-driven disasters.

Remember: this space moves fast, breaks things, and sometimes breaks people too. Stay smart, stay safe, and we’ll see you tomorrow. ⏳🔁

– Your daily chornographer 🔁