🫡 Gm Timekeepers,

Another day, another plot twist in crypto.

We’ve got PumpSwap going rogue and leaving Raydium in the dust, a Hyperliquid “whale” exposed as a career scammer, and Trump making Bitcoin a campaign talking point (bullish or just noise?). 

Meanwhile, memecoins are hitting Wall Street with a PENGU ETF, and AI tokens are either the next big thing or another VC-fueled frenzy.

Let’s break it all down.

Here’s the TLDR for you, let’s get into it. 🚀

Turns out, Pump was never planning to stay loyal to Raydium – now we know why Raydium was secretly cooking up a Pump.fun competitor. Oops.

PumpSwap is live, and it's a game-changer:

✅ Instant migrations (no more momentum-killing delays)

✅ 0 migration fees (farewell, 6 SOL drain)

✅ More liquidity & deeper pools (because size matters)

✅ Creator revenue sharing coming soon (memes = money)

💡 Pump’s cofounder spills the real tea: "From day 1, we wanted a product that could break out of the crypto bubble and pull in millions of non-crypto natives."

PumpSwap is a crucial step in making the ecosystem more accessible, rewarding, and sustainable.

So what’s next? PumpSwap isn’t just for meme coins anymore. Verified projects are jumping in, including Pudgy Penguins, Aptos, and Tron. The gates are open.

Security? 9 audits down, open-source on the horizon, and a $2M auditing competition launching TOMORROW with CantinaXYZ.

💥 The Bottom Line: Raydium who? PumpSwap is here, it’s fast, and it’s built to last but let’s see if it really does!

Attention, Timekeeper! That $20M trader flexing on Hyperliquid? Turns out, he’s not just good at leverage – he’s also good at fraud.

🔎 Blockchain detective ZachXBT just unmasked "the whale" as William Parker, a convicted casino scammer with a resume full of cybercrimes. 

Yeah, the guy who finessed $1M from two casinos in Finland? Same dude.

💸 Parker (aka Alistair Packover, aka William Peckover – seriously, pick a name) has been hustling under different aliases for over a decade and just took his casino fraud skills on-chain. Classic.

How it went down – a peek into ZachXBT’s genius 👇

The plot twist ➡️ His $20M in gains are still sitting in a wallet – but given his history, expect them to vanish faster than your liquidation price on 50x leverage.

💀 Some people never learn. Parker's crypto gambling arc is just the next chapter in a career built on scams.

The orange man is back, and this time, he’s talking Bitcoin like a true maxi. 🎤💥

At the Blockworks Digital Asset Summit, Trump announced:

He’s positioning America as THE crypto leader. No more FUD, no more sell-offs, just diamond hands at the federal level. 🏆

Will this actually happen, or is it just political hopium? Either way, the crypto market just got a new hype man. 🚀

So, we finally did it. We’ve reached the part of the crypto cycle where someone thought, ‘You know what this market needs? A PENGU ETF.’

Yes, an actual, regulated financial product for a sub-six-month-old memecoin. 🤡

If you thought ETFs were reserved for serious assets like Bitcoin, Ethereum, or…

*checks notes*

…Gold? Think again!

PENGU ETF supporters say this is just another step toward "mainstream adoption.”

Critics, meanwhile, are still recovering from the fact that Pudgy Penguins—yes, the cartoon penguins – are somehow a real financial asset now. 🐧💰

But before you roll your eyes too hard, let’s take a step back. People once laughed at Bitcoin. Then they laughed at dog coins. Then they laughed at NFTs. And yet, here we are.

🤷‍♂️ Maybe PENGU is ridiculous. But let’s be honest; you own at least one JPEG animal profile pic, you talk about magic internet money 😂 Drawing the line here is kinda hilarious.

So, what now? 👇

Maybe you ape in 🦍. Maybe you don’t. Maybe this ETF becomes the next big thing. Or maybe we all look back on this in two years and pretend it never happened. 

🤦 No matter what, crypto continues to do what it does best – make the impossible, improbable, and completely absurd somehow very real. 🎪

Crypto Twitter is at it again – AI tokens are the future! Or at least, that’s what 44% of traders in CoinGecko’s latest survey think. 

Meanwhile, the skeptics are sitting back, watching the madness unfold. 😂

Out of 2,632 respondents, 25% are “fully bullish” (diamond hands, baby! 💎🙌), 19.3% are “somewhat bullish” (hopium levels still high), while 26.3% are bearish (probably down bad from the last cycle). 

AI crypto projects already boast a $23.6B market cap, proving that whether or not it works, people will buy it. 🤑

CoinGecko analysts claim AI adoption is improving, but let’s be real—is this about innovation or just another narrative play?

Even VCs like Theory Ventures admit AI crypto is “frothy” (translation: we’re still guessing what actually has utility). Meanwhile, new AI tokens keep popping up like Web3 slot machines. 🎰

Will AI and crypto merge into a trillion-dollar industry, or is this just another chapter in the Ponzi playbook?

Speculators, start your engines—because this hype train isn’t slowing down. 🚂💨

…. And time!

So, where do you stand? 

Are you betting on meme coins making it to Wall Street? Bullish on Trump turning the U.S. into a crypto powerhouse? Or are you all-in on AI tokens shaping the future?

The market’s moving even in the “bear” 😎

– Your daily chronographer 🔂